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Originally Posted by infoonptsd
Oh Sky, you didn't do ANYTHING dear. Mine is similar to you and from childhood and I so understand your every word. Even what you just wrote about how you feel in sessions. I am SOOOOO afraid that he will notice that I feel the exact same way as you do. I want so badly to just cry in there and ask him to make it all better. I am so worried that he will figure it out and start explaining how I have to do this on my own and boundaries and all of that stuff so I am trying to keep those feelings so tucked away.
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He probably already knows you have those feelings. Talking about it can be good because it'll be all out in the open. And remember, you CAN cry in there and he will help you make at least some of it better. He doesn't expect you to do it all by yourself, that's why he's there. We just can't sit on their laps or hug their legs, lol.
It took me awhile but recently I just blurted out "I AM dependent on you!" I couldn't believe I even said it. He didn't say anything because he gets it. A couple of months ago I told him I wanted someone to just hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay and he said the dreaded, "You have to learn to do that for yourself" line. I didn't like it, but I survived.