Hi, froggygirl. I guess you have to figure out something if you want to stay with him; sounds like where you are is his "black hole for potential and hope" just like your home state is for you? How about if you both look for jobs in a third, agreed upon location and move there or realize that one/both of you are just not into putting forward what is needed to "partner" together?

I do not know your boyfriend but your judgement of him does not sound supportive -- that he has tried numerous times to find a job in a strange-to-him location and not been able to find something he would enjoy is not something I would instantly think of as a character weakness. Sounds like you have difficulties of your own with "back home"? The location is just a location, if you would have trouble finding a job/life there where you use to live that you want to pursue then surely he is allowed to have trouble too? He has not done this before, you have. Ask him what he would like, where he would like to live and what his goals for the future are, etc. and then tell him yours and see if you can find a compromise.

My husband and I are doing that now, I want to move, he does not, mostly he does not like where I want to move to so he has given an alternate location (even though he does not want to move at all) and we are leaving right this minute to go look at the location, see if it would better suit us both and if we could both be happy. He recognizes that moving can be a big pain and obnoxious but that eventually goes away. This house/location does not feel good to me anymore (we are getting older and it does not "fit" me well -- stairs and my arthritis and other medical problems, etc.) and, because he loves me, he is willing to see if we cannot find a compromise in location. We are exploring together.