Well Power People,

I've been away for a few days and have had alot of reading to catch up on.

James, I am happy to see you opening here. Sorry that you are having such hard times, but happy that you are able to really talk about your issues here with us finally.

Dulchinea, Hey...your butt must be getting sore sitting on that fence...but I can see that you don't sit on that fence so much here! A nice change to read in your attitude here as opposed to the 'other place'.

Choco, I see you got the change to anonymity. That's promising and I hope that you can remain an entity this time!

I noticed that people were posting all of the bad things or negative things in thier lives that they overcame. I thought I would take my goals that I have achieved and those that I am working towards instead and head off in a different direction. Not because I am denying my past or anything, but because in my heart, it's more empowering to define ourselves by our goals attained as opposed to our negativities highlighted. I mean in retrospect, a goal achieved is nothing more than a negativity turned around into something that is a wonderful postive anyway isn't it?

So here's my list of goals and achievements that have brought me my survival power and if you think about it...you will see where I was working out the negative side.

Started playing the violin at age 3
9 years of post-secondary education
Great career
11 year old daughter
Single Mom
3 years of productive therapy
Quit smoking
Lost 65 lbs
Jumped out of some airplanes
Got my pilot's license
Bought house
Have active social live and good relationships with friends and family

My future goals include losing 20 more pounds
Buying an old White Volkswagon Golf convertable
Travelling to Goa <<< that's in India
Getting signed FINALLY to a record deal << I guess that's more of a dream than a goal but I still work on that.

The listing sounds very egotistical. But in the end that's what life is for...the living. No one will live our lives for us and I spent too much time locked away, barely leaving the house and not living. Now that I have found myself again, I found that displaying pride in what I am working on and what I have done, paramount in knowing and reminding myself what I am capable of everyday. Those times when I do get down and forget and lose faith in myself a little, I look at my list of 'have done's' and know that there are so many others that do not or cannot do those things. I know that a few years ago I could never have strapped on a parachute and 'jumped' from a few thousand feet without having a huge panic attack!!

I survived the lowest when my father was dying and I came home from the hospital to find my fiance in bed with another woman. I was (at that time misdiagnosed) and not medicated. It was the most terrible time of my life. It spun me into the deepest depression and I was heavily paranoid. And then I was under such heavy stress, my period never came so I thought I was pregnant. It was horrible. But since then, I am back.....living proof that it is possible.

I love this thread ChocolateLover!

AMT/Blondie