Hi troubled, I'm really sorry you're feeling like this but why not...........well I can understand how the feeling of self hate can tear into you in itself but cutting, however powerful the urge, really isn't going to help with that beyond what (?) 1 minute.......five minutes.......half an hour.........a day, is it? In fact it's going to give those feelings an even stronger hold over you, right?
So it's the feelings you have to face down, then?? Do you think the self hate could be coming from depression, feelings like that can be fairly common in depression alongside the thinking you're not good enough??
Could you be setting up impossible standards for yourself to meet or being too self critical?? Because you know everyone has flaws, everyone has things they can't do or things that they're not but would like to do/be. It's more that some people don't show those to the outside world quite as much as they see them in themselves. Although they're still there and there can still be different options or alternative which are just as good/if not better!!!
Or maybe some things have happened in your life to bring on those feelings?? But if so they don't have to define you, you can be more than simply a list of things that have happened, you are you!!! And there will be, whether you see them or not, plenty of really valuable qualities right there inside/about you.
And just one is........WOW (!!), you managed to stop cutting before!!! Now that in itself as I'm sure plenty of people have/would tell you a massive achievement and must have taken so much to do!!! Something special right there inside you!!!
But whatever has kicked off those feelings......any/all/none (?) of the above, I'd say you really need to keep being open about it and keep reaching out for the help you deserve. So whether you can talk to someone close to you, or someone in your environment??? Although you know you can keep talking to us too. And if you want to talk some more.......right here for you.

Alison