MTJ - I'm so very sorry about your sorry excuse for a dad. There are so many people in this world that have no right raising children. I went to a Catholic high sch and was a total outcast. They sure as hell did not emulate Christ when it came to how I was treated. When I was in college I worked at a retirement home and an elderly retired pdoc asked me what I wanted to be. I said I wanted to be a good person. Part of my childhood is repressed, but as far back as I can remember I have never been mentally stable. Besides the trauma there are loads of alcoholics on my mother's side and I was a heavy addict for 30 years. I went years undiagnosed but knew I was seriously ill. My mom went ballistic because I had a hysterectomy at age 35. Even the doctor and nurse tried to talk me out of the surgery. I always knew that "crazy" wouldn't go over too well in a marriage and raising kids took stability.