Hi Snuggles, sorry I didn't catch your thread yesterday and hoping today is a little better for you but if not...........sometimes that sickening/sinking/upset feeling or depression can creep in/dig in it's claws without any reason for you to be upset. It doesn't discriminate, you don't necessarily have to have a reason to validate it.
And I know it can be really hard keeping up the fight, but sometimes exploring different tools or perspectives can help just a little in the fight or at least make it a little easier until either it's beaten or it gives up/passes.
And it is really good that you've let "the mask slip" with your T. Sometimes things are just too much to go it alone, and I'm hoping they've offered/offer you support. And sometimes just keeping saying "Look this is how it is..............." can be a massive step in the battle you've been facing and in getting the help/support you need along the way/in moving forward.
And you know, at least you don't have to fake anything here if you want to talk. And if the fight is getting you down/stealing your strength away, then we're here to try to share/lift the load a little. Anytime you want to lean on us for support we're here.

Alison