I am a little embarrassed to even post this, but I guess we all have our issues...Ok, so I started being sexually involved with guys about 3 years ago.
I was in denial & dated girls most of my life.
When I started having gay sex it was a frenzy, I must have had sex with 30 different guys within the same month & my record was 3 hookups in the same day with different guys.
It was exhilarating & I felt wanted, invincible & never cared about meeting the same guy twice although some were blunt about it.
At some point, which I can't exactly pinpoint; I became disgusted with my promiscuity. Especially, the getting dress in a hurry & the long showers once at home. So I stopped. And then deciced to seek a relationship instead.
I didn't wanted to be the stereotype of the gay guy sex-obsessed & end up catching hiv. Now I feel like that sex-crazed version of myself is gone.
My last relationship ended because of sexual incompatibilities.
I thought I was sexually open-minded but turns out I am not.
My ex was into BDSM & master/slave stuff. i thought I could get into it, but it made anxious & I felt repulsed.
I loved him dearly, but I just couldn't for some reasons.
I now realize his needs were valid & sane but why did I felt like it was perverted?!
How can I break free from my inhibitions? I totally get off on twisted stuff while watching porn but reenacting it makes me feel dirty.
It took me so long to accept my foot fetish, I thought I was a weirdo.
Now, a few week after the break up. I feel worthless inadequate, I loss my appetite & have insomnia. Overall, my relationship with sex seems kind of ruined and I feel like I can't satisfy anyone anymore. What to do? By the way I am 24 years old.