I just need someone to understand...

I try so hard to keep my emotions in check. I don't rage anymore the way I used to - at least not in public - so there's that.

But I'm disappointed to have discovered that even with the anger tucked away, my emotions seem to seep out anyway. Eventually, I can't contain them, and they appear not as anger but as over-the-top anxiety and obsession and worry and fear. I realize everyone feels these things... But I don't know many, if any, people in my life who feel these things as intensely as I do, for as long as I do, over things that in the grand scheme of life don't matter that much.

I think the intensity of my emotion scares others away. I probably come across as pretty crazy at times, so how can I blame them? I feel like a freak. I feel ashamed. But I've tried and tried and tried to change and this is as good as it gets, at least so far.

Sometimes I wish people could know how hard it is to tame these emotions and/or cope with them. My emotions feel like hurricanes.

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