I'm posting this one also in the emotions section,
Because I don't believe what i'm about to explain is part of a disorder or mental Illness, it is more about how to let go of something which will never happen..

I met a guy on my course who has Aspergers Syndrome, although he gets very depressed and locks himself away for days- of course I don't mind that, so we kinda got to know each other at uni, and at the time I seemed symptomless, however his AS symptoms seemed to effect me on a very emotional level, I experienced rejection from him sexually and socially. This began a very long depressive episode which I cannot crawl out of although he really does not care a thing about me.

The situation occurred 4 years ago, and want to know how or why I am still clinging on to someone who does not desire me nor want me in their life.

The fact that my emotions are all over place actually scared him away and now there is no way I can repair the friendship, I feel ashamed and guilty for pushing him and verbally abusing him, but also betrayed by this person, because when we were dating he was sleeping around with other girls and using his AS issues as an excuse.

I feel that he has caused my long term depression diagnosis and heightened my anxious episodes, by simply rejecting me and I feel he has manipulated me. - There are many factors but I think he alone, is at least 45% of my issues.

I feel that others can get over such things, but I can't and want to know why the hell I can't?

Has anyone else been or felt controlled in this way? And if so, how did you combat that particular person (the trigger) to be something different in your mind, other than being a trigger for damaging illnesses and behaviours?