I agree entirely with joe ...

What unprofessional professionals. Showing that much disregard for your career by talking to the new BOSS. My god. It was kind of them to have concern for you but they certainly managed to approach the situation the wrong way.

If EAP is the same as here (Employee Assistance Programme?) I do not think that you can be forced to go legally.

Is it worth having a chat to your boss and explaining that you've had a couple of upsetting things happening privately / personally, you apologise for it affecting your work, and you will try in future to 'park' any issues during work time?

I don't know, I am probably a bad person to take advice from as I hide everything at work like Juliana.