Hi Samuli , I would second tigerlily's suggestion of checking out any emergency contacts that your therapist left you .
I would just like to just before I say the next bit that I am not medically trained , I did work in mental health as a nursing assistant though and I don't think that you're psychotic because you're recognizing what's happening and taking rational steps to try and manage it so do hold on to that as a positive but I do think you're very depressed at the moment and you need to speak to someone medically trained asap
Lots of hugs, keep posting and I hope you find something helpful