Thirty-seven is NOT too old to start over!! I'm a whole generation older than you and I'm having to start over too---not an easy thing at my age. But I know I'm unsafe at any speed---I can't hold peoples' lives in my hands anymore and I'm looking for something with much less responsibility than nursing.

That being said, I suspect it's not yet that time for you. You are straining against your restrictions, and that's a normal response to the situation. You've already gone through the longest part of your monitoring time, and all that stands between you and "freedom", as you consider it to be, is 10 months. Not even a year. It'll go by before you know it, and THEN you can do whatever you want to do as far as meds go.

I'm not sure what your objection to Saphris is? I worry about your wanting to feel 'intensity', sometimes that is a sign of incipient mania. I know the feeling all too well though.....there are times I just want to cut loose and have myself a nice spell of hypomania. I'm miss it. I'm overdue for it! But I also know that my hypomanias don't usually stop there---they proceed to full-blown mania and that's when things get ugly. Stability really is best. Think about it.