Wow Parley, it is surprising me how many things we have in common. That was my entire session with my T today on the fact that I let myself hope and try 3 times to feel better in my own skin and each time was an utter disaster that now needs to be cleaned up. We talked about how terrified I am to try and hope one more time. If I didn't trust this man so much (STIIIIIIILL trying to figure that out... LOL) I wouldn't be staying. Hoping after what has happened the past times is REALY scary.

I wish I could comfort you and say you wouldn't become a bigger mess, but my T told me point blank today that it will be getting worse before it gets better but it would be worth it. *sigh*. I know how to close the door on the things that intrude my mine (as we both said a moment ago, we have done it for years), but he has asked me to let them remain open or we wont be able to work on them. To purposely leave that mess out in the open seems SOOOO wrong!

I only had 1 or 2 sessions on my own before I brought my husband to his parents house and he was still worried at that time about me being in there talking about him. I don't know where he is at right now. In addition to the Alzhiemers, he has some psychiatric issues also. That is why he/we started with our T to begin with. Even couples counseling was more to let him get a second visit that week and I was just 'there'.

I have NO idea what couples will look like when we get back as our T did not know me a couple of months ago like he does now. For better or worse, I have a feeling couples sessions will be different now then before. We will see how my husband deals with it.