I have sorta a similar problem. I've just in the last few days realized how much time and energy I've spent in the past hiding parts of me from myself; one of those things I've not let myself think about is how afraid I am of losing T. In the past couiple months I have felt recommitted to this whole process and decided that I am no longer going to try to quit every 3 months like I have been..... and putting both of those together, I bet that I've had this fear for a long time and have hidden it from myself, with a lot of other things that we're uncovering, but that's why I keep wanting to quit therapy as in if I quit, then I can't "lose" her. I'm going to talk about this with her next week, so we'll see how it goes.