I think most things are learned. We think we "spontaneously" brush our teeth every morning before we go downstairs and start our day (a friend of mine -- I tease him about whether he brushed his teeth before or after doing something "surprising" (someone at his door early in the morning)) but it was once just a learned behavior, became habit. I think for your examples we responded one way instead of another and in that "type" of situation it became habit. We smile at people who smile at us or respond "Hi" if someone waves/says "Hi" to us. Yes, we can do the opposite if we want, be the first to greet others and yes, that sometimes feels like an uphill battle (when a known curmudgeon is coming down the street toward us or our taciturn boss, the hallway) but with enough "practice" it feels just as natural as brushing our teeth

I think it is just the law of numbers. I love Malcolm Gladwell's books and theories and what you are describing reminds me of http://www.amazon.com/The-Tipping-Po.../dp/0316346624 I know what you mean about being around the efficient company versus less efficient only I have felt that way around a "relaxed" company whose employees love to party versus a more serious (but still "nice") non-partying company. Like attracting like?