Quote:
Originally Posted by winter4me
I think what you need to decide is whether the therapy is still helpful/productive for you; if this is an example of wanting to cut off a relationship because it is uncomfortable, or if you simply need to move on------maybe a "vacation" from therapy? See how it feels? Or, better yet, actually talk it out with the T. and, if you decide to end it, don't do it abruptly...work through it, as a new way to transition. (yeah, I know, easier said than done...but that's what T's are for)
|
actually talk it out with t? like an actual conversation?!
what a crazy idea lol. you'd think i was in therapy... it's definitely a me issue. i know i need to work through it but it terrifies me because i've never really been that person and i'm terrified he's just going to abandon me part way through the process. because me. sigh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HazelGirl
Don't quit now. You're just starting to enter the real work of therapy. It's easier to keep running from scary things, like attachment. But as scary as it is, you will only get better by working through that type of thing. Can you talk to your T about it? It helps a lot to start the conversation about attachment and transference when it first appears.
|
it is easier to keep running. see, i grew up in a very nomadic life and so relationships never got 'deep'. usually, right when i was starting to feel attached, we moved and if the relationship was complicated or made me feel off, i just let it die. eventually any relationship that felt 'close' ended up being too much. i have my hubs and maybe two good friends, neither live near me so i don't have the complications that come from trying to maintain a physical relationship. i've kept myself nicely detached and it's detrimental to me. my t has been trying for *years* to get me to be open and relaxed and connected. and i made it a priority to be open with him and i realized in the last few months that i got attached to him (haha, after five years) and i'm like wtf?!
now i want to terminate because i'm unhappy with that connection. except i think it's supposed to be good for me. like i should work on it except i don't want to
argle bargle flargle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by artemis-within
I have sorta a similar problem. I've just in the last few days realized how much time and energy I've spent in the past hiding parts of me from myself; one of those things I've not let myself think about is how afraid I am of losing T. In the past couiple months I have felt recommitted to this whole process and decided that I am no longer going to try to quit every 3 months like I have been..... and putting both of those together, I bet that I've had this fear for a long time and have hidden it from myself, with a lot of other things that we're uncovering, but that's why I keep wanting to quit therapy as in if I quit, then I can't "lose" her. I'm going to talk about this with her next week, so we'll see how it goes.
|
i think you're right. i don't want to lose t and that's what makes me so mad! (see above nomadic issues, i've always prided myself on being able to leave and not care). i know exactly how badly it hurts to lose someone you care about as i've done it multiple times in my life, and i feel like i set myself up (and maybe in my head, i blame him a little too - like wtf dude, setting me up so i like you. i don't want to like you. i want to find you uninteresting and like you don't matter to me).