Your wife may have been raised in an environment where communication was basically criticism. I know I was raised that way. She may literally not know how to communicate any other way. Then when you call her on it, she becomes upset and confused. Invite your wife to go to counseling with you. You two have a communication problem, and it can be improved. Even if she is resistant (and saying "oh, no it is all your problem") you can impress upon her that you need her help in solving 'your' problem. If she refuses to go or refuses to go again after the first session, keep going yourself.

Even if you split, your child still needs two parents who can communicate with each other and the child--it is that important important. I hope things improve.