thankyou gaston i wish i could go somewhere on my own, really i do. it is in my head and its a problem, even having nightmares now. wish it was easy to just go away and forget everything.

thankyou for caring. i try to listen to advice too, i guess i'm stubborn or something. i had the idea of seeing a pdoc, thought it would be sooner and my brain keeps dragging out memmory after memory.

jinny