So, I have been blogging here at psych central. It has been a great outlet for me. My therapist even asked if she could read some of it—that made me feel good. I am surprised that she would want to take the time to read it.

Today, when I posted my blog, I noticed a post called “xxx.” And, you know, it really is porn—at least, it is what I understand porn to be—it describes sex and penis size and everything—leaves nothing to the imagination. I was shocked—I clicked on the link to see it because I thought maybe, the first few sentences were just racy and it would then talk about abuse or something like that. But, nope, it was just porn. I guess, since this is psych central I did not expect to find porn on the blog site. Maybe it is a sexual outlet for some, maybe it is a healthy expression for some…it just shocked me.

So, now, back to the therapist. She is going to check out my blog on what it means to be a survivor. Great—the porn post is below it. Come on…what she gonna think? I have told her nothing but good about psych central and now her first impression is going to be about porn. Just great. I am embarrassed and I wish I would have never told her about my blog.

I may be out of line for even complaining about this…I guess blogs are whatever anybody wants to write….but porn? Maybe I am just being too sensitive or maybe I don’t understand what porn is…or maybe I should just shut my freaking mouth because I am sure this will make somebody mad. Maybe I am just being too conservative.

I am thinking about erasing my blog—I cry as I write that because it is very important to me…but I don’t want my story of being a survivor right next to what I consider to be porn. I guess that will be my call…I am really disappointed.