Skitz - I can so relate to your feelings. Had a bit of bad news last night that was of my own making and even wrote to my husband this morning, "It's pure loathing, shame and disgust. I am nothing but a waste of space and a burden". Fortunately it passed after a bucket of tears and know I can't do anything until Monday. I have to fix my f-up, and everyone makes mistakes. I too urge you to talk to your therapist or pdoc. I plan to. You're not alone in this struggle, journey or however you want to phrase it. It's tough, at times heartbreaking but even at my most negative a tiny ember of hope. Try to be kind to yourself and don't relive the bad over and over in your head. I often torture myself that way, and it helps nothing.
My husbands parting text was,"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength".
My very best wishes and thoughts for you.