Echoes, I literally stared at my desk for 2 hours yesterday after lunch. I couldn't motivate myself to do a single thing, I was also in a total fog, ruminating, obsessed with how disconnected I have been feeling-- just totally lost within myself.

Actually, I am at work now. Obviously the day hasn't started out too well because, well.... I'm not doing any work yet.

We hold back in therapy to keep ourselves safe. Safe from all the things you mentioned-- judgement, shame, trust, all the things that have hurt us in the past, etc.

My T always tells me... just keep talking. And he's so right. Echoes, when things are ready to come out, they will. It's okay to hold things in for awhile. You need to keep safe. As you keep talking, you will keep earning trust and safety with your T. Then more and more will come out.