Quote:
Originally Posted by LostInParadise92
The fact that he used his AS as an excuse to cheat on you just tells me that he's a total loser and has a lot of growing up to do. If you need closure, perhaps you should sit down with him one last time and just tell him all the things that are bugging you. I think that letting him know how you feel will expel any pent up anger/frustration you have with him. I realize that you might not want to see or talk to him again but I really think that venting to him will help.
Four years is a long time to be hung up with someone. If exploring new relationships doesn't sound like something you want to do, try maybe exploring a new hobby instead to get your mind off of him and instead, set on moving forward with your life. I hope you find a way to move forward from this and to find happiness.  |
Hey Lostinparadise thank you for this advice, and it has put things into perspective. I know that what you are saying is right, but I always cloud my judgement with thoughts I want to cling onto, of him, make him cute and fluffy when really he is just a git.
About the one last rant to him, I have done this so many times to him, that it has lost its affect. I feel that him and his friends laugh and sneer at my seriousness of how he is making me feel, and today I realised I can't even go to a day festival in my hometown without feeling paranoid that his friends are out to get me or make me relive what I have said, or acted.
Although I have done the 'one last word in' more than 10 times, I will do it anyway, to finalise for myself what it all is to me.
He is essentially 'winning' the mind control game, because he is in my thoughts negatively more than positively, and it affects my moods and depression more than before I met him. - I should not give him that satisfaction.
But then I do not want to feel angry for the rest of my life because people hurt or upset me, my mind gets clogged and need help de clogging it and rationalising my perspectives.
But then it is not all my fault, and I feel like people have made me believe i'm the totally crazy one in this situation, which is not true,
Thank you xxx