Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
I think you do the best you can, being as helpful as you feel comfortable, interacting with this teenager and don't take him too seriously. You are an adult, so I would not take bf's advice necessarily either, would accept his opinions/desires are his but take issue with how he spoke to you. You are your own person in relation to everyone you are in contact with, your bf does not "own" his son nor you any more than his son's ideas/desires of what your bf should do are more than his ideas/desires. I would not be "hurt" by anyone asking but not taking my advice or making stuff up about me (especially a teen/child) or whatever. If you do feel hurt by the son, I would not give him any more advice? Sounds like he does not want it?
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Perna, I respectfully, but forcefully disagree. The natural parent of a child will always (or should always) think of and consider the needs/wants of that child until it is an adult and out of the parental home. Girlfriends, come and go (as do bf's and sometimes husbands) but that child MUST take precedence over any other relationship.
The fact is, as well meaning as she was, she f**ked up. No parent would accept a bf, or gf doing what she did, which for all purposes of intent, was interferring in the place that rightly belonged to the father.
I'm speaking from experience. My bf (eventual husband) had to learn this is just the way it is. He was NOT my childrens biological father and therefore did NOT have the right to disipline them against my wishes, nor give advice without me knowing what it was...period. They were MY responsibility. He eventually accepted that, but it wasn't until he had his OWN children, did he fully understand. And actually thank me for setting him straight a few years later.