Quote:
Originally Posted by elliemay
Look, I'm not saying that it's not a trauma. I'm not saying that it's not painful, or awful. I thought I made that clear. Sudden termination is unethical and I indicated that in post.
However, I think even with the most horrible trauma, there is always room for some perspective about it. It comes with time, and it hurts right now, but the mental framework within which we view these things can help our process.
We can either view it as a life destroying event, or we can view it as something to overcome, something we survived. And that someone who was bad did something bad to us. We are shaken, but not broken.
I think we need to deal with the shaken. Place focus on regaining our footing, our strength. Sometimes we need to say "i'm not giving this guy another moment of my time". It doesn't mean that we aren't going to give him another moment, but with that statement we are getting our lives back a little at a time.
I appreciate your comments and understand how you may have missed my intent.
I hope this clarifies my thoughts on the matter.
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Ellimay, I think that you an I might have different ideas about what feels validating (and that's ok). Sorry if I had a knee jerk reaction to your post. I just worry about someone's pain not getting heard loud enough. And I wanted to to be clear that abandonment is very damaging. I'm a survivor of abandonment, and I find that people tend to minimize it, or they don't understand it the same as abuse, because there isn't a list of horrible actions that the survivor can recount, that everyone will automatically see as awful. I think I may have just wanted this acknowledged for personal reasons.
But I think I understand now. You didn't want the OP to feel like they are nothing, or like they don't have any power. Fair enough. I think that may have just misunderstood your post. Thanks for caring, I'm sorry I didn't see it.