I have not been officially diagnosed with this disorder, but I'm almost certain this is me in a nutshell, to me Avpd is having crawled into a safe little shell as a child, and never being brave enough to come out again, me as a person is defective and unacceptable, so I must try very hard to fit in and be accepted, but it's not really me, cause I'm still hiding in the shell, it's a part of me that has learned how to play the game, to pretend to be socially normal, unfortunately this gets very tiring and with very little gain.