triggers, how long have you been married? I'm coming up on my 10-year anniv., and my husband is only now starting to figure it out. He's never experienced anything like this himself, and it's taken him a long time to not be resentful of me and frustrated that I don't just snap out of it or have the motivation and follow through to do the things that seem to help prevent it the most (exercise, diet, etc.). He's now starting to get it more - not that he understands what it feels like, but that he knows it's nothing he can understand without experiencing it. What he can grasp now is that it's not a choice I'm making, and it's not something that I can always prevent. He understands that even the most basic things (which would take very little effort for him to choose and complete) are completely overwhelming to me. While he doesn't understand most of what my experience feels like, he is starting to get what my reality is like: that I'm easily overwhelmed, that it's fueled by guilt/shame, that it colors my perceptions of myself and others, that I can't access my motivation, that it makes me fearful/sad/angry/apathetic, that I hate how I feel, that I hate how it impacts him and our kids, and that I'm ashamed I have it in the first place. He may not understand those feelings, but he knows that's my reality when I'm depressed. It's a big thing for us to be at this point. Even so, the understanding does not necessarily include insight into how his behaviors and choices can aggravate my depression. I have to work really hard on that. Struggling with it right now, because I'm getting triggered by him (unintentionally), and I know that if I wasn't depressed I would be merely annoyed, but able to let it go. I can't figure out how to let go of it, but also don't want to talk it over with him because I don't think it's fair that he has to be different than he is just because I'm depressed.