I accepted my diagnosis pretty quickly, because it matched experiences I've had since before I was a teenager. No one in my family was very surprised. I was hospitalized 6 months out of the first year I was diagnosed.

My problem was not with accepting the diagnosis, but accepting that I can't CONTROL the bipolar through sheer willpower alone.

I never had a problem accepting that I have manias. I definitely do, they definitely aren't going away. The episodes cause massive destruction and I can't just pretend they're not happening. I lose friendships, relationships, freedom. So now I work to control it through meds and lifestyle. Different things work for different people.

I don't know how to tell if I actually have it. It just made sense for me. Maybe keep talking here and see if your experience matches up with others here? It's likely some will have different experiences, but some might be the same.