Hi Vivianne. Welcome to PC.

You've been given a lot of good advice here already. I did want to add in though, please don't feel bad about what happened. What he did to you, in my opinion, is damn near unforgivable...if you said "stop" at ANY point, he should have immediately stopped out of basic human courtesy. For him to continue onwards is wrong. Very wrong. Furthermore, his lack of communication and attitude towards you after the fact speaks to a selfish, immature individual. I think you made a very wise decision in breaking up with him.

I must ask out of concern...has the bleeding and discomfort stopped? It's normal for it to be sore and perhaps bleed a little the first time, as the act rips a small mucous membrane that tends to cause bleeding and discomfort, but my understanding (which please ladies, do correct me if I'm mistaken) is that it should not be profuse, nor should it hurt for a week. Again, it strikes me as incredibly callous that he would continue despite signs of discomfort...I am happy to know he is out of the picture.

That said, don't beat yourself up about it Vivianne. You, at 27 years old, are a consenting adult. You have the right to make your own decisions. You don't owe your parents any sort of status report on your sex life. Simply because you made a decision contrary to their expectations is no cause for feeling bad. You are you, not an extension of your parents. And please, don't fear sex because of this...this guy was obviously in it solely for himself, but that's not what it is. It's not what it should be. This is not the standard by which you should judge. Provided that the next guy you share this with shows more concern for you than this guy did, it should be a pleasurable, enjoyable experience. Your partner should always show concern for your well being and respect to you. Your ex showed you neither, thus I believe resulting in this.

Hugs Vivianne. Don't beat yourself up...you didn't do anything wrong. He did, I would certainly argue, but you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Hugs,
Harley