I just want to say thank you Sabau2 and esthersvirtue for your support. It means so much right now. I am having a very difficult time reaching out right now even though I really need to. I know I have not posted much here and it will be hard to get people to hear me as they do not know me but I am really trying. It has always been really hard for me to reach out even though it is in my heart to do so, but I am trying. I want so much to but I have always been so afraid as I took their threats as very real. I have tried to reach out for help as this feels so overwhelming to me. I feel lost in this great big silent world that I am in. By silent I mean I have shut down afraid to move. I wish I could pm you but somehow that feels so scary. Part of me wishes someone could read between the lines and know what I am trying to say. I know that I am not the only person to go through this but somehow it is differentright now--it is me. I have not been here before and I am so scared. Needing people so much yet shutting down. But thank you so much for your words. Right now I am clinging on to them as like life depends on them. I am trying to post, and I will continue to try.