I feel like I'm one of the passengers on the cruise ship screaming and shrieking and carrying on right now. But the sufi is right really. Before the fire, it was a concern. I had 10 cats, and sometimes I'd think what would I do if we had a fire?? How would I save them?? I only had 2 carriers, and how are you going to catch cats when they're panicking anyway?? I know I don't even recall seeing my cats as I grabbed my birds' cage and took them outside as smoke was rolling in toward them. I was on my way back in - I'm not even sure why, but it must've been to get my cats because as the neighbor took my arm, I protested, "I have 10 cats inside! I have 10 cats inside!" He wouldn't let me go back in, but he kind of had to pull me as I froze not knowing what to do. And that's when I just started sobbing and panicking as he led me into their yard where I watched my house burn for 3 hours. But I probably wouldn't have known where to look, what to do anyway. They were all found under the couch by firemen later but the 2 that somehow escaped - my Tadpole and James. (Still missing - I still have my signs hanging around the area here. Real nice reminders of the whole thing as you drive by leaving or coming home daily.) But then, it's something you push to the back of your mind and think, "This probably will never happen anyway." It's always something that happens to the people you see on the news, but somehow you're immune to it - til it happens to you. Strangely I don't wonder about purpose and meaning in all this. You can question, "Why??" but there is no answer. My mom is a Christian and thinks all bad things are from the devil, so she thinks the devil did it. I just see it as one of those things that just happens you have no control over. It's called LIFE I suppose. There is no one to blame. Our car caught on fire soon after my husband returned from being called out, parked a little too close to the garage door that night, and up it all went. He tried beating it out with a towel. I brought out a bucket of water but spilled half of it en route, so it was no help. It was just the perfect set-up that night. You can think so many different things that would've changed everything. Why did he park so close to the garage door that night?? If he hadn't gotten called out and hadn't had to leave... Why didn't we try the hose around the corner?? Just... All you can think is it was supposed to happen this way evidently. I have no reasons. There are no reasons. You just deal with the aftermath. And now that we have home again, that's pretty much dealing with myself. Missing my home, my cats, mourning my life pretty much. I'm scared of everything now. That feeling of anything can happen at anytime is on my back at all times. When I go somewhere, I could die in a car crash. When my husband is late from work or has to go out on a call, you wonder if he'll come back now. You hope nothing will happen. You feel insecure. No, it didn't before - but that was before. I panic about bills. I don't want to lose my home again. I don't want our electric off. You're right about society. I couldn't agree more. And my panic about the bills all the time now has made me realize this even more. There are some people who probably don't even see their bills because they're so loaded and have other people deal with that. While other people get termination notices and scrape and scrounge to be able to eat and have water. My husband is a water operator. He's had to shut people off. Some people are the elderly who just can't pay. He tries to do what he can to keep those people on. My son's ADHD meds were $349 the other day. If we hadn't had insurance for him (we have none for ourselves cuz can't afford even what Obamacare offered us) we would've had to say forget it. Impossible. Yet my millionaire several times over uncle in CA wouldn't have a worry at all. That would be pennies to him. His bills are probably nothing. It's frustrating.