I accept that the symptoms fit the diagnosis. Some days still though I cannot accept the illness itself though, no matter what it is called, just living with the symptoms alone as a part of who I am and instead thinking of them as some foreign entity that I want gone; then other days, I know it to be true, it has made me who I am and would not change, so I work with it instead of fighting it.

Some of the first phases of acceptance are usually disbelief followed by denial. There will be these elements but I passed these so long ago knowing something was wrong with me, so for me it was immediately being comfortable with it, as had struggled for so long, I knew it fit. I was diagnosed with depression in my pre-teens but not diagnosed with BP until my early 30's. No one listened to me for decades about the other side of things. So once this dx (diagnosis) came in, I was just relieved to have been heard no matter what the dx turned out to be; I just wanted treatment for it.

If I ever had a doc tell me I lack insight, I would tell them that they better enlighten me, that is their job to explain better if there is something that they are trying to do or have decided, but I do not understand or readily accept at face value.

It is most important to listen to yourself (your body and your mind) and to do your own research, in this you can trust yourself to find out as much as you can paying attention to both the research and yourself; then no matter what someone else tells you, you have facts to check it against and checking with your own experience and symptoms, then you can decide whether to trust in their opinions. Anything you can do to educate yourself will make a difference to help you make informed decisions about your dx, care, and treatment options. Then work as a team with your providers towards a correct dx and your treatment goals.