So true. How many times have I said to myself, "I wish I could just go back to last year when everything was okay and stay there." Or, if I could just go back, knowing what I know now, and tell my husband to park way back down the driveway because there was going to be a fire under the hood. The mind goes everywhere when things like this happens. But all we can do is move forward the best we can. Most of the time I have a hard time with that. I keep wondering if by thinking of it so much, am I keeping myself in the past?? Or is it something I have to do to deal with it?? I feel as if someone picked me up under the arms like a doll, lifted me from the little box that was my life, and put me in a different one with all new things. I'm still in the "Where did everything go?? This isn't my life!!" mode trying to work all this out. Even though we're back on the same spot, which was my decision because I thought it'd help, our yard looks like a nuclear bomb site, and more and more of it washes away every time it rains. So not quite the same. Where's our grass and our bushes and our sidewalk and steps?? It's going to take a LOT of time to adjust to this. But then, linear time - moving forward I suppose. Just going to be really slow going. You've gone through yours so much longer, though. Going on 8 months for me, though feels like an eternity.