I look for those who will stay back, respect my boundaries and not try to get too intimate, not be condescending, who will explain what is supposed to go on and what is happening and why they are saying what they say or ask - what the point of it is - what are they trying to get at and how is it supposed to be useful for me. Ideally they would actually listen and hear me. I accept them simply pretending to do so as long as they don't talk and blow the illusion.

A bad therapist gets too close, does not listen, thinks they know what is best for me, thinks they know me, tries to impose their will or ideas upon me, thinks they have a stake in me somehow.