Okay so I've been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and the past year I have been rapid cycling a lot with drastic moods changes every few hours or day. I've had little time where I was stable for a very long period. Then two months ago I was doing better than I had in a while and I really wanted to see if there was anyway I could manage without meds so I went off them cold turkey(doc knew I did this so it was sort of monitored). After I went off them I continue to remain stable which was very surprising to my psychiatrist and therapist but also very good news. Then a few weeks ago I began getting very depressed and that's how I've been lately. So I haven't had any manic or hypo manic episodes for quite sometime which is very odd. I recently, a few days ago, got out of the inpatient mental health unit, I was there for a little over a week because of suicidal urges linked with my depressive state. My inpatient psychiatrist thinks that I should be on medication basically for preventative measures. It's really hard to say because my outpatient psychiatrist doesn't think medication is as important to me as my inpatient psychiatrist. They both know me very well and are both very very good doctors who care about me a lot. I worry that maybe I might end up having an upcoming long manic episode and maybe I've been in a depressive state so long because I actually have bipolar type 1 which could makes sense but this scares me because mania is very disastrous and dangerous for me. My inpatient psychiatrist told me to remember that bipolar is episodic and although it seems like just depression now, basically I could have an upcoming manic episode. So to sum it up, I'm scared that I might have bipolar type 1 and might have an upcoming manic episode. I'm hesitant to go on meds again because I seem to be generally just depressed. I'm scared by the time I get a psychiatrist appointment to talk about meds it might be too late or everything is fine and I'm just super paranoid ... Help!