First thing's first, no one can diagnose you here. And the tests etc. are there to give you an indication of what might need working on, nothing more. Before you're given any diagnosis - which only a professional can decide upon - you have to think about what it would mean to you. Some people are more comfortable not being diagnosed, others feel they may not be able to access treatment without one.

For me personally, BPD is indicative of: unstable/intense interpersonal difficulty, issues with abandonment (though i don't actually have that trait strongly), tendencies towards impulsiveness/recklessness/obsession/addiction, regular suicidal thoughts/idealization (for a lot of sufferers this extends to a catalogue of suicide attempts - self harm is usually also present), an unstable/ever changing sense of 'self'/identity......i could go on.

Regardless of whether or not you actually have BPD, any other personality disorder, or even a mixture - if you feel you want to change you must be prepared to do the hard work usually required for such change. A diagnosis might more easily point you to 'how.' I would like to add that it usually takes some time to accurately diagnosis PD's - it took me over 10 weeks. I would continue with your research but also book an appointment with your main health provider so that you may enquire as to a psych referral.

Keep posting and we'll try and help you in any way we can.