This sounds exactly like my friend I wrote about in my thread on the 'Partners of People & Caregivers Support' forum. When I first met her she used to disappear or go out of contact for periods of time, too. Then pop up as if nothing had happened and be so totally engaging that I'd think she was totally into me again. Until she disappeared again.

Thing is, The closer we became, the less she'd disappear and the more she'd simply blow up in my face. I've known her many years now and I kind of miss that time when she managed her emotions! She once confessed to me that she only gets angry with people she loves. So on the one hand it's evidence that she likes me, but on the other, who wants to be liked by someone who expresses it through shouting and accusations?

The other thing she does is tell other people ghastly things about me behind my back. It seems she does this with all men, though. The problem is it took me years to realise it. When I met her she said she'd been in an abusive marriage and, of course, I felt for her. Then years later she was seeing some guy and began telling me how he was a bully and abusive and all kinds of things and I thought, wow, way to pick em.

Then a couple of years ago I discovered she was saying the same stuff about me! Not to my face, ever, and denied it when I asked. But after a while I began to realise it was true.

So when I say 'friend' it's difficult to say that really. But when you know someone is sick I think you have to make some allowances. Although it's a tough one. If I had my time again I would have steered clear, to be honest.