I'm still learning to trust him but I agree there's nothing any therapist can really do to gain trust overnight. For me, a large part of my trust came through my erotic transference. Without disclosing the nitty details, my T knows that I have loving feelings for him and those sometimes manifest with obsessive thoughts. Over time, I have shared a lot about how this affects me midweek and I've shared some of what these thoughts entail. Instead of judging me he helped me understand why I have these thoughts and helped me find ways to manage them. He's also assured me that he will not refer me because I have these feelings. If anything, he's encouraged me to feel them; the idea I think is that embracing my feelings helps to disempower them because repressing them makes them worse, I guess.

Another way he has gained my trust is through emails. Some of my emails are mini novels and almost all of them are laden with deep secrets and pain. Without fail, he has responded to every one, even when he's on vacation. He also ends each email by reminding me he's happy to read my emails and that I should never hesitate to journal to him. Over time, I have been able to dwindle my emails down from as many as 4 a week to just 1. He's on vacation this week and I think I can even manage none, because I have so much respect for his time off

Lastly, he read that 'famous' book In Session because I suggested it and that made our relationship feel so much more real. I emailed him 5-6 quotes the other day and at the following session he printed them for me in case I wanted to refer to them while we talked. He's attentive to what I need and that's given him major brownie points.

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