Hi James... do you think you could just humour us a little and give us say 10 things that you have accomplished in your life. I don't see it as a competition at all. It's a chance to remind ourselves that life has had its highlights. I promise not to compare you with me or with anyone else. I just want to see you participate in the exercise without discounting it. It's the process that is good medicine. It's not the words on a list or the accomplishments themself that have value right now... its the process of digging them out of my head that was the benefit for me.

A good wise friend once said to me... it was something she learned from a Elder.... to 'try' is to 'lie'. It is a built in excuse to fail. You use that word a lot my friend. And everytime it becomes your excuse not to make the next step.

I know you have a whole lot of major issues in your life James. You are so alone without Dr. King. I get that. At the same time I get that Dr. Long was one who kicked you in the butt every now and then to get you off your soap box and do that which you don't want to do. I'm no Dr. Long but I do care about you James and I really want you to go beyond 'trying' cuz that isn't getting you any further than imaging something better. Please let us help you while to come out of your safety zone and follow our leads now and then. What have you got to loose. You say you have nothing to contribute as far as new goals. I'd beg to differ. You like everyone of us here want to live a fuller life. Even though you can't see that happening it is still a goal. If you avoid putting it down as a goal then you are only continuing the cycle of 'trying without action'. It only serves to increase your sadness rather than helping to lift it. Sometimes all you have is the faith of others to push you to 'trying with action'.

You know how far I've come these last few months. I would never have believed it could happen. It only happened because I refused to die. I don't know how I found the determination to hope again. I know you were a vessel of a lot of it. Can you let me return some of the kindness. Can you decide to do something different than you did yesterday. You have nothing to loose. That's how I see it. Come on James.... make my day. Tell me about your achievements. I know they are many. I could probably write a pretty long list for you myself but like I said its the process that brings the blessing. Just a small blessing maybe if you're not the dancing type like our D here. She loves to dance and if anyone is an example of keeping the healing laughter working its our D.

As always James... I accept you for who you are and I know you are more than your illness. You are the man!!!