Sweetie, I'm so sorry you're going through this. My mum had some mental problems (paranoia) when I was a teenager and I often felt like I had to be the mother to her. She asked me for advice, and like you, I didn't have all the answers and she got upset when I disagreed with her or told her I thought she was being irrational. It was overwhelming. I was a kid and I had my own depression to deal with, but I didn't tell her how I felt because I was afraid she wouldn't be able to handle it. I can also relate to your feeling that she might be jealous of your relationship with you dad.

There's nothing you can do to "fix" your mum. I know it's SO hard. It's not in your power to make her feel better. That will have to come from inside of her. Is your mum being treated for her depression? Does she want help? Maybe the next time she starts unburdening herself on you, you could tell her that you just can't handle it and you think she really needs to talk about those things with a professional. Tell her you love her and you want her to get well, but you can't make her well.

Have you confided in your dad about how you feel? Have you told him you're scared? I finally had that conversation with my dad when I was 16 and it really did help. He put a stop to my mum leaning on me and venting to me so much. I had been keeping EVERYTHING to myself and it was a relief to have someone else know what I was going through and it made me feel less alone.

Are you in therapy? Do you have someone to talk to about all this stuff? You need someone to help you. It sounds like right now it's hard for you to focus on improving your own health because you have to be so focused on what's going on with your mum all the time. You need to be free to make yourself a priority.

Reach out for help. Vent here, talk to your dad, talk to a therapist or a doctor or a counsellor.

Please don't give up. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but there is hope. Things can get better. Things changed for the better in my family and I have a wonderful relationship with both of my parents now.

P.S. I inherited my depression from my dad and I don't blame him for that because I know it's not his fault. He also never put me in the position that your mum puts you in... He never put me in the position of feeling like I had to take care of him. He had support from friends and siblings, so he didn't unburden everything on his children. We talk to each other about our depression, but it's a positive thing; we share our feelings. I hope that someday you and your mum can have a similar relationship -- where knowledge of one another's depression can make you feel closer. Boundaries are necessary for that kind of relationship, though. Your mum needs to realize that she can't lean on you to fix her problems.