i've seen my t for a while now (over five years) and he's always been very professional.

anyway, this last session, i was very suicidal. i was ready to follow through. he knows how i feel about the hospital and i was upfront that i had a back up plan in case i ended up there. i was just a mess.

he crossed a touch boundary (i don't want to give details because i'm skittish as it is). it wasn't a sexual thing but there was a lack of communication and i think he made a call to try to keep me safe without hospitalizing me. his gamble did pay off as i am better and i have gotten rid of my stash of pills (it was a very nice stash). however, it left me uncomfortable.

have you had a t accidentally cross a boundary?

i plan on discussing it with him. i did send a very insecure frantic email the other day because i just don't know what to do with all of it. i basically told him i want him to read me the rules... because... i'm weird? i'm kind of a freak about rules. i don't like to break them. being rebellious is not in my nature. and yet i'm also not a people pleaser. i just do what i want... within the rules.

i sound like such a freak.