Well, I do talk with her about it: I actually sent her a message to this effect, just now, but then told her I thought it was indeed a rude question, to suggest that she take the hit because I wanted to change jobs. The only thing is, I really can't plan on working so much forever, so at some point I may need to decide what to do.

As far as shame and stress, well, to generalize, I will say that money is an issue for me, but one I've been working on quite a bit, hence it's come up a lot lately, and yes, I do know where it comes from.

The thing is, I could see asking for a reduced rate if I was fired or something, or... had a huge emergency that was financially devastating, but to ask because of a job change seems.... more grey.

Of course, it's also partly a question of defining her commitment to me as I ponder the depth of mine to her and to this therapy.