It was quite a weekend for me. Yesterday I went to visit my brother who is two hours away from me. We had not been together for many years. He was never my favorite person in my life, so to say. I decided to go see him because he was just recently diagnosed with lung cancer. He has that along with COPD and sleep apnea. He was told that he only has six months to live. That was pretty sudden.

I was very scared to see him because all of our lives, including up to now, we never got along. But we did talk on the phone and he was looking forward to seeing me. Also I thought I would break down and go hysterical if I saw him looking very bad. But it turned out he didn't look as bad as I thought he would and that we had a nice time together. He told me that he has accepted death for himself. He seemed like he's taking it all very well.

Today was a so-so kind of day. I went to church where I had been thinking that I would want to leave it soon. There was a meeting about what will happen in the future that are very important issues. But I was very disappointed with the meeting because it seemed like they didn't answer any questions. So I think that today would be the last day for me there. I have not been happy there for a while anyways.