Welcome Suzi glad you found us.

There is nothing wrong with you. At the core of your being you are a whole and well person. You have just become disconnected with that well person at this point in time. You will find your wholeness again but it is a long path of self discovery that only the brave tread. The fact that you asked the questions shows you are indeed one of the brave who wishes to start on this difficult journey.

I spent a long time believing that it was ok. I mean, I never did anything major, my scars are small and barely noticeable. Many of the self injurious things I do leave no scars at all. I don't hurt anybody else and when I am done I feel better. Why is it wrong to do? For a long time, in the beginning of therapy I had to just trust my T that it wasn't an appropriate way of soothing myself. It was hard to come to believe that I should stop doing it. I felt it was unfair for him or anyone else to ask me to stop because it helped me to survive.

After I learned WHY I do it I realized that he was indeed correct. As long as I continue to hurt myself I won't have to face what it is that is making me hurt inside. Hurting myself softens the pain, makes it bearable so I don't have to fix it. It is like continually taking painkillers for constant headaches. Get rid of the headache with an asperin and you don't need to go to the doctor but the headache comes back because something is wrong. Yes you can take another asperine and never go to the doctor but you will never really get rid of your headache. You survive but never are well.

I want to be well. I think you want to be well too or you wouldn't be asking and searching. To get well you must face what is making you sick. SI is a symptom of dis-ease that is making you hurt. By hurting yourself you don't HAVE to face what is truely hurting you. It is like drinking your problems away. The problem is still there though and only gets worse if you don't face it.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying