Thread: Is this rude?
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Old Jul 20, 2014, 11:07 PM
Leah123's Avatar
Leah123 Leah123 is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,593
Quote:
Originally Posted by blur View Post
leah, when i read your posts about the cost of therapy i think maybe one of a couple things is possibly going on:

a) this is really a boundary issue and you need to set boundaries with your T, and yourself, about how much you can realistically pay for therapy. the reason it keeps coming up is because you haven't done this yet and so you feel resentment about it. it's typical that when we don't set boundaries we end up feeling resentment toward those we feel are taking advantage of us in some way. if it is this one then i think the solution is to look at what is holding you back from asserting yourself to ask for what you need. by that i mean saying something along the lines of "T, i can pay X amount of money a week on therapy, how can we schedule things to best utilize what i can afford?" then, stick to that and no messing around with it.

b) you want it all (multiple T appointments/email per week and for it to not cost much) and can't seem to just accept your situation. so, you keep bringing it up but mostly want to express your frustration rather than accept the situation or do something to change it. if it is this one then radical acceptance is probably what is needed so you can find some peace about all this.

either way i think if you just make a decision and stick to it you will likely feel more settled about all this.
a. I don't think she's taking advantage of me. Her rate is fair and we've compromised to bring therapy into line with my budget by cutting hours on my part and a couple concessions on hers. The conversation you mention is one we've had, and how we've settled on our current plan, a big shift from our previous setup.

b. I've done something about it and accept the current setup: I think it's actually going to work out excellently once I settle in. But I'm now just one-year out from the most major career shift of my life and am evaluating my prospects so I can prepare for it. That includes evaluating my financial reality 12 months out. And yes, I'd like the security of knowing she'll try to work with me if I downgrade my income to improve my job satisfaction significantly.