I respond great to antidepressants (zoloft) for a period of time, and then after about 1 1/2 years, I start to have side effects like leg pains, etc. So I get off them until I can't stand it anymore (the pain of depression and despair get to be worse than the pill side effects), then I get back on them again.
Taking antidepressants is depressing But getting some semblance of a life back is better than being in the deep dark pit we get into untreated. Psychology and people's acceptance of mental health treatment has come a long way even though there are plenty of people who are ignorant when it comes to mental health issues. We all want to be understood, loved and accepted. I'm 43 and I still do not tell everyone I have depression. But trust me, I and a lot of other people understand you and you will continue to find people like us here who share your pain in some way or another. Go to groups and connect with people there to get support in addition to talking to your therapist. It truly does help when you know you are not alone and there are others who do accept you as you are and know you're not a psycho. You didn't choose your brain chemicals and what they do to you anymore than anyone with a physical condition.
Take your med as long as you need it and be proud of yourself for knowing what you need to do to live your life. That's a very mature outlook.