I'm so sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed by guilt You are strong and I know you can overcome it. This is just me, but it helped me to train myself with the habit of (upon feeling the guilt after eating) I tell myself "Whats done is done, time to move on" and then find something else to preoccupy my mind. I don't give myself the choice to think of options to alleviate my guilt (ie; purging).

Like PP said you should be proud you are giving your body nutrients like it deserves I hope you start to feel better very soon.