Well got '2' hours sleep last night... woke up very numb with suicidal thoughts rattling about my head. Wrote in journal about how I was feeling... support worker came in saying it was breakfast time, saw me pacing and looking agitated... asked if I was alright and I said 'no'. She advised me to go and sit by the nursing station for a bit which after getting changed I did. Didn't stay there very long, was feeling weird and trapped so came back to room and wrote in journal again.

Was start of new shift so I initially wrote about not wanting to bother anyone and how I just wanted to punch (wall) thoughts out of my head.

Decided it was best to take what I'd written and see my allocated nurse for this shift, told her I was struggling and just handed over the paper I'd written on. She said I'd done exactly the right thing and that she would like me to try and stay near the nursing station for a bit longer (qualified nurses were at med station at time, but the nurses station is usually manned by support workers)... two were there that I liked and was drawn into light hearted conversation and banter which both settled and distracted me... after a while I was feeling better again and returned to my room area in an ok frame of mind.

Allocated nurse came in an hour later to have our 15 minute chat and it went really well, told her my concerns, struggles but also some positives and she gave me some very sound advice which included adding positive entries into my journal so that as I read it back it would be a healthy mix rather than just re-enforcing all the bad moments.