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I have written a lot, but this post caught my eye and I am wondering if you are a narc, were you diagnosed professionally?
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I am a diagnosed narcissist.
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Do you have any insights for me ?
How do I get him to finally agree to divorce?
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He probably won't agree to it. You're going to just have to do it anyway regardless of whether he likes it or not. Whatever you do, do not back down. If you do, he will manipulate you further. From the sounds of your post, he doesn't want his reputation to be tainted by divorce. By you wanting divorce, it is threatening his sense of self.
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Is it possible for a narc to "think " they are in love when it is not really possible for them to love anything ore than themselves?
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I can't speak for all narcissists, but I can speak for myself. I know I cannot love anyone besides myself, if I do tell my partner at the time that I love them... it is an act.
If you want me to elaborate any further just ask, and you're more than welcome to private message me as well.