Hi Snuggles, thank you for sticking with us and sharing!!
While we're thinking about you faking it can be so completely draining (and isolating) sometimes, especially if you're doing it over and over for however long.
I'm not necessarily saying just lay out all out there for your family and friends because I'm guessing you'd find that really hard (??) but maybe if you could let out just a little more to some people in your life?? And if there are any areas/tasks they could help you out with a little more?? I'm sure you've helped them out from time to time, right??!!
Because acting like there's nothing/not much wrong doesn't make is so does it? And just smaller things can be really tough, so every little bit of help would make just a bit of a difference, right?
And if you could just talk to someone close about how you're feeling??
Still as for the writing/the extra cost.......right on!! you should be doing what you feel is needed for you!!! If it was in relation to a medical/physical problem and you needed the input of a professional you wouldn't have been hesitating quite as much probably (??) but this is just as important as any medical/physical problem. And if right now it isn't really a choice, you need that, you shouldn't really be denying yourself that, hey??
As for the medication.......well they're the experts but just wondering if you've written down as precisely as you can, some of the difficulties/feelings you've been having.........duration, frequency, intensity......all that to give them a real "overview"?? Maybe it could help??? Or if they want to keep it the same after that, maybe they could give you a bit of a "safety net" e.g. when you start feeling..........(whatever they think) you could increase your meds to...........for that period, maybe they'll give you some extra/different meds for a "top up" if you're feeling..............or even a plan of action if you're feeling..............worth discussing???
Real good that you've tried helplines when you've felt you needed to though. I know it can get really hard so just don't forget you deserve all the support you need that's out there!! ALL of it!!!
And you know we're here for you too!!!

Alison