Blue, but trying to stay positive. Took my 91 yo father-in-law for bloodwork. He has dementia. I get such conflicting emotions with him. Every time I see him I am so reminded of my late husband, and reminded how FIlaw and M-in-Law drank themselves silly when my husband was going through very many serious surgeries. This was over many years. I was alone and they called me drunk in the middle of the night and asking for food. Their friends were sneaking them booze. This continued to their late 80's until my mother in law drank herself to death. Took a few day for Finlaw to even realize what had happened. Their house was a disaster, as they lay passed out, banged up from their falling, all the while thier son my husband, lay in ICU dying. My FIlaw does not drink anymore...well, sorry, rambling. So I fight with feelings of love for him, but also unresolved anger, even though alcoholism is a disease. He is in assisted living, and all he has left in the world is me. Trying to stay positive. Thanks for reading this.